請(qǐng)幫忙翻譯成英語(yǔ)！要人腦翻譯！機(jī)器翻的勿回！

翻譯好了，不過你這段是惡作劇的玩笑話吧？

Hello everyone! 我是教導(dǎo)主任室的XX I’m XX in the Office of Counsellor Supervisor
厄，我知道你在想什么I exactly know what’s in your mind
你在想，我不應(yīng)該現(xiàn)在出現(xiàn) You are thinking that I shouldn’t be here
但是我已經(jīng)在這了 But the fact is that I’m already here
告訴你一個(gè)秘密， Tell you a secret,
我擁有雙重性格， I have a dual character,
也就是說，我患有精神分裂癥 That is, I’m suffering from schizophrenia
偏執(zhí)型精神分裂癥！crankiness schizophrenia
我不能控制自我，I can’t control myself
我現(xiàn)在出現(xiàn)目的只有一個(gè)——騷擾你們所有人！I came here for just one purpose –to harass all of you!
哈哈哈哈哈哈！ Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
再告訴你一件事，我同另一個(gè)我一樣 And to inform you another sceret,I,as the other I
將會(huì)在1小時(shí)候再次出現(xiàn)。 Will be here again in one hour
期待吧？ You are eager for that,aren’t you? 哈哈哈哈哈 Ha, ha, ha ha ha

Hello everyone! 我是教導(dǎo)主任室的XX Officers are taught my room XX
厄，我知道你在想什么 Ecuador, I know what you think at
你在想，我不應(yīng)該現(xiàn)在出現(xiàn) At you want to, I should not now
但是我已經(jīng)在這了 But I have been at this a
告訴你一個(gè)秘密， Tell you a secret,
我擁有雙重性格， I have a dual character,
也就是說，我患有精神分裂癥 That is to say, I suffer from schizophrenia
偏執(zhí)型精神分裂癥！ Paranoid schizophrenia!
我不能控制自我， Can not control my self,
我現(xiàn)在出現(xiàn)目的只有一個(gè)——騷擾你們所有人！ I now have only one purpose - all the harassment you!
哈哈哈哈哈哈！ Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
再告訴你一件事，我同另一個(gè)我一樣 And then tell you one thing with another, like me, my
將會(huì)在1小時(shí)候再次出現(xiàn)。 Will be one hour again.
期待吧？ Look forward to, right? 哈哈哈哈哈 Ha, ha, ha ha ha

不知道你覺得怎么樣？我自己翻譯的，可能會(huì)有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤